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Carol's Column
There’s Purpose (even) inYour Day Job



February 2007                            Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.


    I’m working on a new writing project about knowing the deeper meaning behind one’s life. I’m not sure I know how to write about that!  I need to get a grip on my own life story (again??) and try to remember how events have unfolded.  Suddenly I had the desire to go down to my basement and find those two sagging cardboard boxes of my old diaries and stories that I had been lugging around for years.  It seems to be time to take a look at the past.


Last night I was reading the diary starting April, 1978, the year I moved to a small Northern California town to begin a new life and go to graduate school.  I had been divorced since 1969, had a daughter fourteen, and a son twelve.  Puberty for them.  Starting over for me.
I had been married for eight years to a University professor in the sciences, and had struggled all those years to find my own identity—and to stay afloat during my confusing, but liberating, confrontation with the sixties in San Francisco.  I was a still a middle-class woman, but now turned rather hippie—but a practical hippie, more of a bohemian, I liked to think of myself.  At any rate, an Aquarius, perhaps is the ultimate description. 


When married, I had never developed a career of my own outside my fledgling interests as an artist (painting.)  In those days, I had suffered greatly with lack of confidence, fear of authorities, fear of being trapped in an ordinary life without artistic expression (as I always called my idea of the worst outcome!) I was still struggling with these issues when I divorced, flew like a bird to San Francisco, Santa Fe, New Mexico, Berkeley, California (second or third time) and then to Sonoma County, California—to focus on studying archetypal psychology. I had just developed my interest in numerology.


In my consulting work now, I have long conversations with my clients about their purpose in life, their careers, their aspirations, fears, confusion, and conflicts.  I wonder myself, how did I ever get out of those uncertain days, when I couldn’t see any real direction or purpose at work? 


When I came across the following segment of my diary in the summer of 1978, just as I was getting myself established and ready to start the master’s degree program, I was astonished that I had kept such a thorough record of my days.  Even now I feel I don’t have time to write or do everything I must, but then I was much, much busier, and yet I made time to write. 
For the last few years, I have heard myself saying (and believing it) that I fell into writing quite by accident.  Now I have another perspective.  I see that I actually started writing at the age of twelve, and kept at it through journal writing, never thinking I was good enough to be published.  And still I wrote about what I saw and heard, and what I felt. To be truly honest, I see that I did have a secret wish to be published.  My lack of confidence gave one story.  My diary gives another.


As a married woman, I had become a fairly accomplished cook (thank you Julia Child and The New York Times Cookbook!)  Cooking, then, became the bridge to my new life.  (I added housecleaning to increase my income while going to school.)  To me these “day jobs”-- jobs we do to keep body and soul together, to make a living while we decide what our purpose in life is—are often blessings in disguise.  I was happy on the one hand to have work.  Appalled, on the other hand, to be stuck in jobs below my creative aspirations.  Whenever I would accept a cooking job or an office job or an administrative assistant job, I had two thoughts.  First, “Thank you, God, for giving me an income.”  Secondly, “How will I ever get out of this job?”


My criteria for day jobs were:  1.  It’s something I don’t have to think about after work. 2.  There might be something new I could learn, and 3.  The work has something of value in it, and the people are good people.


Below, I have taken an excerpt from one of my first professional cooking jobs for a San Francisco society woman who lived part-time in Sonoma County.  What I notice are three things.  First, I sound fairly competent at what I am doing (cooking.) I don’t sound as angst-ridden about my life purpose and career, as  I was when I was married and a stay-at-home mom.  So I see I was beginning to grow up a little bit. 
Second, I notice that I had an ear for dialogue (some people have an ear for music, which I don’t have.  Music is a blank wall to me.  See, I can’t even describe it in hearing terms.) 
Third, I had enough focus and energy after work to be able to write down what happened.  Twenty-nine years later, my memory is poorer.  I am grateful for these written snapshots of what I was doing—and for being able now to see how my invisible life purpose was present even then…in the observing, listening, and writing—three skills I eventually turned into my true livelihood as an intuitive counselor and author.
July 1, 1978

“Well,” Irene says, “I got 8 rooms done today.  Can’t do too much.  Got pins in my leg.  Broke it in a flood.  This work is just too much for me, anymore.  That’s why I’m leaving.”
We are the three new maids, sitting at lunch—the leftovers from a cold chicken buffet that I prepared as my first meal for Mrs. D.


Irene, fifty, a widow, chunky in a white zip-front uniform is leaving after only a week. The new maid, Oriye, a beautiful young-looking Phillipina woman, has decided to take her place. She has driven out here to the country with Mrs. D.’s father, a prominent San Francisco man who kept making passes at her in the car.  He is 85.  “I’m just doing this for the summer until I make up my mind if I stay here.  I have my own garment business in the Philippines.”
Mrs. D. had asked me to have Oriye help me in the kitchen to see if we could get along together.  She helped me get the salad ready for lunch and, unfortunately, she rinsed the lettuce with hot water, and didn’t know to take out the stem bottom from the tomatoes.  She began immediately to tell me little stories about herself, so I switched her to washing the Cusinart while I did the lettuce.  When her hands were in the soap, I noticed that she had on a large diamond ring.


“I have two maids at home and a driver,” Oriye tells me. “We are building a new house, and I will have five, no, I think it is six, bedrooms.”  She is charming, beautiful, and laughs a lot.  When Irene guesses her age to be in the twenties, she lets out such a loud whoop and slaps me so hard on the arm that she scares me.  She is delighted to be thought so young.
“Oh, Carol,” she continues, “I have been married fifteen years, and I said to my husband, ‘I need a break.’  He agreed with me, so here I am.  I have never been in love.’ She said, looking at the kitchen ceiling.


Mrs. D pops into the kitchen—I know she is checking me out, and I smile and ask her where she keeps the garlic.  She is so proud of her kitchen and her equipment, and is not about to relinquish her many years of mastery in cooking to me.   She is short, stocky, with her hair pulled straight back a la Helena Rubenstein.  Her skin is the dark brown California pool-side type.  She told me the first day, “My only quirk is that I am very clean.’  I assured her that I am also considered something of a fanatic in my family, too, but already I can see that she has a much more devoted obsession to cleanliness than I do. 


Having to cook in a new kitchen—and having to keep it looking clean in case Mrs. D passes through-- is slowing me down, despite a fairly simple menu.  My rhythm gets interrupted by also having to pay attention to Irene, who clearly wants to talk about her life story (‘just checking to see if you have enough dish towels.’) And, of course, Oriye, who is supposed to be helping me, is leaning against the sink, right where I want to work, pondering her love life and marital decisions.


“I married very young.  I didn’t know what I was doing, and in the Philippines, the woman cannot leave her husband.”
 “Gee,” I say, closing the doors to the kitchen for the tenth time to keep our noise from the guests in the dining room. “I would think, then, that you would be real careful about getting married in the first place.” 


“I want to hear bells ring,” says Oriye.  “Have you heard bells ring?  She sighs, watching me take out utensils.  “I have never loved my husband.  Never.  But he is so good to me.  He plays around, but he loves me. If only he would leave me, then it would be alright.  People would feel sorry for me. But he doesn’t want to leave me. He loves me.  He’s a Scorpio, and that is the only sign than an Aquarius should never marry.”
It turns out that Irene, Oriye, and I are all Aquarians.


Irene starts to say something, but I’m feeling anxious about what’s going on with the guests in the dining room. “Listen, Irene, I think I’d better go out there and check to see if they’re finished.”


“Sure, sure.  I’ll help you in a minute.  I think you ought to finish your lunch first, though.”
Knowing Mrs. D. as I am beginning to, I cannot bear the thought that she and her guests are sitting around staring at the watermelon rinds on their plates, with the flies buzzing around, so I get up and go out.  Mr. D. smiles at me, so I knew I had done the right thing.  Her English houseguests are bemoaning the fact that they must leave today.  They want to live in San Francisco.  Forever.


I stack the plates, and return to my lunch.  Irene is telling Oriye that she is going to Sacramento, and I ask her if she likes it there.
    “Not really.  Sacramento is a very violent town.”
    “Really?”
    “Oh, yes, There have been 64 unsolved murders there since January.  And there were two more last night.”
    She has a way of saying things matter-of-factly that catches me off-guard.
    “Wow. Why do you think a place like Sacramento would be so violent?
    “Well, some would say it’s because of an inept Sheriff.  And the fact that they took Robert Hovell off homicide and put him in juvenile.”  She apparently knows a lot about the police department.
    “Oh.”
    She says, “Somebody from Hogan’s Heroes was killed last night.”
    “What do you mean killed?”  I don’t have time to read the paper very often.
    “Murdered.  In his bed.  No motive.”
    “Oh, Carol.  I think I will take this job because I want to get away from Mr. Castaneda.”  Oriye talks to me as if Irene is not in the room.  “He is the young man I have been going out with.  He is only twenty-seven, you know, but he seems older and he has a very good insurance job in Daly City.  I just found out that he is married.  Oh, Carol, I was so mad.”


    Irene is picking her teeth, and squints at Oriye.  To fill the silence, I remark that she, too, is married.  She doesn’t take up that point, but says, “I will take this job up here, and then he will not be able to find me.  I love to do housework.  I love the folding, the putting things in order,” She smiles and sighs at her decision.


    “I hope you love housework,” says Irene, shifting heavily in her chair. “It’s too much for me.  I used to manage a liquor store, and I ran so much I lost thirty-six pounds, but I was younger then.  I could do this job if I was ten years younger.”


    I get up to clean up the kitchen, so I can start cooking for dinner. Oriye goes outside to arrange a ride with the English couple.   I am bursting to write down some of their stories before I forget them.  I start to make an English cream, and stand at the stove with my notepad on the right, stirring the cream and scribbling some notes.  I have to move the pad, though, because I am afraid it might catch fire from the pilot light.  That would be hard to explain to Mrs. D.  I cram the notes in my pocket just as the cream starts to coagulate—I had let it go just a few seconds too long.  (I had Mrs. D. take a look at it later, and she very graciously said it would be okay.)”

    A few sentences later in this diary entry, I see the inevitable emergence of the part of me that can’t help giving advice:


    I say to Oriye, “Why don’t you imagine your husband falling in love with someone else, and coming to you to ask for a divorce?  That way he will be happy and you will get your freedom? I believe that you can use your mind to manifest things in your life.”
    “Oh, yes, I believe that, too,” she says.  Like Science of Mind.  SOM.  But, he is already in love with someone he met five years ago when she was eighteen. But still he won’t leave me and the children.  I don’t know what to do.  I live like a queen in the Philippines.”
    “Gee, maybe you should go back, then.  It sounds great.  Couldn’t you take a lover yourself?”
    She screams with laughter and gives me two savage pinches on the arm for my joke.  I am going to have to remember to keep away from her when we talk.
    “Oh, Carol.  Do you think I could use Mind Control to fall in love with my husband?”
    I hadn’t thought of that.


Finally, she hugs me goodbye and goes off with the English couple.  I finish up a marinade and get all the vegetables ready for the shish-ka-bob.
About five o’clock I take a break on the front lawn, sitting in a white chair overlooking the beautiful hills of Sonoma.  I am writing in my journal when Mrs. D. pops up behind me, and startles me into closing my book rather quickly.  I know she is dying with curiosity.
“What do you think?  Do you think you can work with her?”


I say that I don’t  think Oriye has ever done housework before (in her life, I wanted to add,) but that I like her and I am sure that we could get along together.
“Oh, that’s alright then.  I can train her,” she says.
   
Happy Valentine’s Day in this beautiful month of February!

Carol Adrienne





 





 



 
When Perspective Brings Clarity

December, 2006                Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

    I want to express my deep gratitude to everyone who has shared their time and journey with me this year (and in the past years, as well!) I feel very fortunate to be able to communicate with so many people about so many heart-felt concerns.  I wish we could just sit at the table and have a cup of tea and get down to solving the world’s problems and have a great time doing it!  I must content myself with writing to you today, and I hope that whatever you read in this column during the year touches your own life.

    This month I have selected two emails to answer, both of which seem to strike a similar note.  Both women are in mid-life, have completed many family duties, and are ready to contribute something new.  Sound familiar? It might be a version of your own story.  I’ll be using my numerological microscope (actually, it’s a macroscope) to offer some ideas.  Of course, I’ve changed their names to protect privacy.


Leah writes:
    Dear Carol,

“I am fascinated by the guidance numerology, and will appreciate your thoughts on the following:
I am a 45 year old, divorced mother of two daughters, 20 & 23 (one married, one at home going to college). I currently work as an Office Manager/Personal Assistant/Secretary for a very small real estate office. This is NOT what I want to do when I grow up. I have been pulled for several years to do something fulfilling... something that would help others as well as make me feel that I am making a difference. Alas, I have no idea what that should be.
I am an avid lover of books. I feel most drawn to writing. I have given psychic readings online in the past. I have also done hands-on-healing. I consider being a coach, being a professional organizer, or being a writer. However, I just  don't know where to go. While some people have one interest, one area of talent - I have lots... which adds to the confusion!  I also am in a relationship with an amazing guy. I believe this will lead to marriage. Do the numbers show a wedding?”

Dear Leah,
    Yes, I see in your numerology chart all the interests you have!  Of course there’s no space to go into detail here, but here’s what I see.  Your birthday numbers add up to 9—the humanitarian, philosopher, healer, educator, and all-round person, so 9’s often feel confused because their interests are so vast.  On top of that, you have a 3 day of birth and a 3 Heart’s Desire—the desire to express yourself creatively (thus your attraction to writing.) 


Avoid Underestimating Your Day Job

From the age of 37 to 45 (where you are this year), your life has been guided by the influence of another 3, accompanied by a 1 challenge.  The 3 asks that you enjoy life, look for creative outlets and make lots of friends and contacts (something you probably have done, without realizing it, in your “small real estate office.”  I think it’s important never to underestimate our small “day jobs.”  They are there for a reason.  During a 3 period such as you have been in the last 9 years, we often fall into work that lets us stay in our comfort zone.  We may not be ready to make the effort to do what it takes to create a whole new career.  For example, if you decided to become a life coach, that decision would make serious demands on you.  You would have to find the money for training, get training, find clients, build a practice (not always an easy thing to do, and takes much determination and patience), and wonder how long it would be before you could make a living at it.  This is where your 1 Challenge comes in. 

Honor the Phases of Your Life
    Since the age of 37, and for the rest of your life, you have a 1 Challenge—the motivation to do something original, independent and YOURS.  Beginning January 2007, you change from a 3 to a 6.  It’s like changing from childhood to maturity!  Six will be with you for the rest of your life (still with the 1 Challenge.)  The 6 favors service (like organizing,) family responsibilities (yes, it looks like marriage is in your future!) and coaching. 
In addition, from now until 2012, you also enter a yearly phase of 9’s which resonate perfectly to your 9 Birth Path—giving you the opportunity to go to a new level in what you expect of yourself.  Nine represents a strong desire to help others, get involved in a cause, or occasionally travel abroad.  Your Destiny is 4—the builder and organizer.  Fulfilling your life purpose requires assisting a whole network of people to attain their goals as well. 

Avoid Fixating on the Idea of Right or Wrong Choices—Each Path has a Purpose
  Your 3 Heart’s Desire is the part of you that enjoys imagining different futures, and prefers to live in possibility as long as possible.  It’s your life work to pull those ideas into the material world and manifest the ones that hold the most passion for you.  The paralysis comes because you want to make the choice about “right or wrong.” 
Our life purpose is not about a job title.  Your purpose involves using your imagination, creativity, and strong organizational skills to create a business that is mostly service.  Waiting for 100% clarity about choosing a new career direction is often paralyzing—which is what you are experiencing. 

Think Synthesis
    Your big life transition from a 3 to a 6 this year, brings a new energy vibration.  I think the key is the 1 Challenge.  The 1 asks you to be confident in yourself and to redefine your identity—from assistant to business owner or practitioner. My assignment to you is this: how could you combine coaching, personal organization, and writing?  Why not try writing up a small brochure on how to stay organized and use it as a promotional tool to find clients that you help--people who feel overwhelmed?  You can create your own “coaching in-take” form to identify, assess, and analyze areas where you could help people get a grip on their day-to-day issues.  I see it as a sort of “good neighbor, big sister” approach.  Nothing heavy, but you could do a lot of good, and it might not require a lengthy training, depending on your life skills.
                          Blessings

Corinne writes:

Hi Carol - I am 53 years old and have been divorced for four years. I am enjoying being single, particularly having my own apartment. I have a stable (but boring) job in a government agency. Lately, I have been thinking I would like to get into conflict resolution work - I would need more training for this, but my employer would probably cover that. I have a fair amount of education already - BA in Political Science, MA in Mass Communications. These degrees were earned part-time over several years while raising my son and putting my husband at the time through law school. Would conflict resolution work be in keeping with my life purpose (not that I am sure of what that is!)?

Dear Corinne,
    Like Leah above, your numerology birth path is a 9, so you also want to feel that you are contributing healing service to the world.  To answer your question, in a word, yes.  Conflict resolution would be terrific for your life work.  First of all, you have the 9, the number of universal love, understanding, tolerance, and peace.  If that wasn’t enough, you also have a 2 day of birth.  Two stands for harmony, peace, friendliness, and mediation.  On top of that, one of your strongest trends in the letters of your name is the “line of the heart”—which indicates the ability to work on feelings and issues with a very broad base of people.

    Your strongest indicator of life purpose is in your “line of recognition” indicating that you could work yourself into a position where your work becomes widely recognized.  Although you do not seek the limelight, it may very well find you.  No wonder you are bored (hiding out?) in a government job. 


Be a Bridge to Harmony
    The number 7 is influencing you from the age of 46 to the end of your life (which resonates perfectly with your 7 Heart’s Desire.)  Seven is a spiritual, intuitive energy and requires you to become something of an expert in a field. 

    With all of your education, you will find that the later years of your life are giving you a chance to be truly who you see yourself to be. However, you will have to deal with a natural timidity or modesty coming from your 2 Challenge.  Recognize the trap of trying to please everyone, but use that sensitive, cooperative 2 energy for conflict resolution.  The 2 gives you the gift of seeing both sides of the question, and the ability to create a space that allows people to come into their own power, without having to wrest it by aggressive conflict.  Good luck!

    I’ll be taking off the month of December for some writing of my own.  Enjoy the gifts that come your way. Happiness to all…
and Happy December
Carol Adrienne

NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.
Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net





 





 

 








 
Dissolve Fear with Small Successes

November, 2006                    Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

Dear Carol,

Since 2002, I have been raising two grandchildren alone on a disability income. Taking a leap of faith, I just achieved an MBA-HR degree, but with a huge debt.  I started with a marketing focus, but a family business owner asked me to change. That position has now fallen through. I have little formal work experience, but some non-profit experience. I am scared. My question is how do I handle my FEAR? How can I not just cover my fear, but genuinely get through it?  It is paralyzing.

As a child I was a battered, severely beaten, child.  At age nine, I lost my beloved father, who was my protector.  Yes, I have verbally forgiven my mother (who is still living), but am not close to my family. 

How can I build up my own inner strength, and resolve to deal with my fear so I can pursue this much desired life change?

Nana

Dear Nana,

I am very impressed with your ability to take on the responsibility of raising two grandchildren on a small income, AND to gain an MBA advanced degree in your fifties.  Not only that, but you have had to overcome severe setbacks as a battered child. In addition, I don’t detect a blaming attitude in your email. 

May I point out that you ALREADY possess an undeniably large quotient of inner strength—which you may be minimizing as you search for your next career or job choice?  You are fifty-three and still going strong.

Thanks for sending me your original birth name and birth date.  A brief numerological analysis shows the following:

Numerological Expression of Your In-born Nature

Naturally Compassionate

Your nature has a strong bent for helping others (9 Birth Path), but your biggest lessons and achievements are all about gaining a strong sense of self (1 day of birth, 1 Destiny (from your birth name) and a 1 Ultimate Goal. 

Credible and Persevering

You appear very credible to others (an 8 Personality) whenever you are engaged in problem-solving.  Inside, however, your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, sometimes tends to make you a bit of a softy. You might re-think your ideas over and over, thus draining the focus of your goal-setting.  To keep a balance, you might want to keep some spiritually-uplifting books by your bedside!  I would expect you to well respond to light, beauty, self-help books, and good music.

Enjoys Collaboration

Because of your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, I think that you get much stronger in motivation when you have support and collaboration from a like-minded colleague, friend, or partner.  However, with a 1 Destiny (with a focus on self-sufficiency,) you may seldom find these kind of people!  Be careful not to feel like a lone crusader. Your Destiny of independence, integrity, and breaking new ground keeps giving you a new challenge to confront—but remember--you never have more than you can handle, when you really think about it. 

Time for Material Success

In looking at your timing influences, I see that you have been in the powerful 8 energy since age forty-six.  This means that your true direction right now involves business, management, and financial success—with the challenge and ability to make a good living. 

I’m intrigued by your statement that a “family business owner” asked you to change your marketing focus, but that position fell through.  It sounds like you have some feelings about this person who supposedly got you off track.  Can you take another look at this event and see a greater purpose to it?  What did you learn?  Perhaps you learned that you need to trust yourself more than others who might not be as stable as you had wished.  I don’t have the answer for you on that, but I’d say don’t make that event too momentous in nature. 

No Excuses

In your numerology timing influences, I think the year 2005 was a turning point for you.  Karmically, it gave you the challenge of trusting your intuition—turning within to look for the answers.  Don’t let anything stop you from pursuing a new life as a business person or manager—and being the inspiration and support for those two grandchildren.  They seem to be in your life for some time—perhaps until around 2016 when you are sixty-three.  Currently, influences indicate that you might get some referrals to jobs from friends, or even some lucky breaks from part-time jobs that at first don’t look important. 

Get Stable First

Your big question is how to handle fear. I’d say right now, you need to get stability in your life, rather than look for any grand answers.  With your new degree, you might look for work in banking—even starting as a teller would provide a daily structure to help you manage or even eliminate that fear.

I remember a wonderful former client who changed careers from non-profit and wanted to do something in financial counseling.  She was extremely fearful and unself-confident about her future.  She had no experience and no sense of how she could get into the investment or financial planning field.  She took an entry-level job as a teller in a bank, and kept making an intention to be shown another step towards her goal.  At first she said that she hated selling, but was transferred to another department.  She was very timid with customers who asked about financial products.  Gradually, as her confidence grew, she found that a new side of herself developed.  She began to love her work.

Seemingly miraculously, she discovered new openings at the bank for financial counseling, and is now extremely happy with her work.  She was patient, waited for the right opportunities, and was willing to try new things.  She even fell in love during this process, married and bought a house!  Her story shows that we can start over no matter where we are in life.  The past does not have to determine our future.

To Fortify Intention Create a Practice of Good Habits

To handle some of your outstanding debt, start putting a few dollars in an envelope every week—even out of your disability income.  I know it sounds like a drop in the bucket, but the point of this practice is to give you a visible container for your intention to pay off your debts.  Fear is handled when we experience small (even tiny) successes on a regular basis. 

Create a Clear Intention of What You Want or Need

Make a list describing the kind of work atmosphere where you would feel strong and confident.  Let friends know that you are willing to work, manage a business, or fill in somewhere part-time.  At home, clean out cluttered areas of your house, or repaint a room.  Discard clothes that you never wear.  If they are old enough, get your grandchildren involved in small projects to improve their room or the outside areas.

Affirm Your Strength and Willingness

When fear thoughts come into your head, notice if they sound like the voices of the past (maybe your mother or other relatives.)  Say to yourself, “I have handled far worse things than this temporary setback.  I am willing to do whatever it takes to put my life back on course.” 

Take Care of Health

Make sure you take care of your health by spending time outside, walking at least thirty minutes a day, or doing yoga stretches at home.  Avoid being home alone for long stretches of time where you tend to feel isolated.  Get out. Take a walk.  Go to the library. Meet new people. Eventually, your life will be assisted by synchronicity and a little help from friends.

Much love,
Carol Adrienne
Happy November!
                                            To Readers:
NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.
Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net




 





 

 

 
Purpose and Practicality

October, 2006

Carol Adrienne, Ph. D.


    Karen (not her real name) wrote in with a question that I think applies to many of us.  How do we become the people we were born to be?  In Karen’s case—she asks how to embrace the creative person she is—and still be practical?  She wrote:

“I am in a number 9 year [numerologically.]  I'm thinking about returning to school  to study photography or writing, but at the same time, I find  myself  worried about whether such choices make practical sense.   My background is anthropology.  I took an unfortunate detour to law school, quitting two papers shy of completion.  I have spent two years getting my health back while dealing with feelings of utter failure, even though I know in my heart I just couldn't continue in the law.  The universe kept sending messages -- breast cancer, divorce, child's bi-polar breakdown--that perhaps I wasn't headed in the right direction.  I also disliked the adversarial nature of the profession.  So now I'm faced with choosing a direction while overcoming a sense of having failed.   How do I make best use of this number 9 year?”

    I asked Karen to say more about her situation. She wrote back to say that she felt like an outsider in law, but had liked the philosophy of law. In her twenties she was a singer, and played the piano and guitar. She’s been a muralist, ceramist, artist's representative, photographer, and writer for small papers. Another option, she says, might be to pursue grant writing as she has some volunteer experience.

    Karen also says that she has suffered tremendous stress and financial drain from an early first marriage to an abusive man.  Despite being happily married now, she says there is some tension because she feels that her husband is waiting for her to get clear about her career and start making money. Interestingly, a trip to visit an old professor with whom she had an affair in her twenties, has recently re-energized her, but she still feels scattered and uncertain of what direction to pursue.  A quick review of Karen’s chart shows:

    Each of her first, middle, and last names come to the same total—the number 4, indicating a very persevering nature that would resonate with law and the earth (painting, ceramics)  and social conditions (anthropology.) 

    Both Karen’s  full life-time Destiny as well as her Realization Number (final outcome) are 3-- clearly indicating a creative lifetime.  Her Heart’s Desire of 8 shows that she wants to attain professional status and recognition.  The 8 also demands that she be able to deal with money and inter-personal power (something she learned in her relationship with the abusive first partner, and probably the reason she chose to study law.)  Her total birth date numbers give her a 9 Birth Path—signaling a person who is broad minded, philosophical, multi-talented, and humanitarian (she liked the philosophy of law, has already developed a facility for grant writing, has already studied anthropology, and expressed herself in several of the arts.)

    Karen’s three missing numbers (she has no letters in her name) are 2, 6, and 7.  The 2 and 6 indicates that she will have more than one marriage, and learn how to deal with partnership without losing her center. The missing 7 (and she also has a 7 Day of Birth) may be a clue to a possible direction--research. 

     Karen, your question about how to make the best use of a 9 year may be in the realm of putting the past to rest.  Interestingly, you reconnected with your old professor in this 9 year.  The 9 is a time of completion, letting go, integrating the past with insight, and also expanding your horizons.  Emotions are frequently up and down as you make the transition to another level of knowing and expressing yourself.

    One could say that your real work is about to begin.  In January you are due to enter a 1 year—starting not only a whole new 9-year cycle, but also stepping into your last major Pinnacle—the inspiring 11/2.  In 2006 (your 9 personal year) you now have only 3 more months to complete the requirements of this period.  Those requirements have something to do with how you are holding judgments against yourself and the past.  For example,  
 Can you reframe your sense of failure about not finishing the law degree?  Can you appreciate all the effort you put into getting that far, and the honesty and courage it took to not continue in something that didn’t feel quite right?  Whose voice are you carrying around that says you failed?

  •   Can you appreciate what you have learned so far in standing up for yourself in your previous marriage/divorce difficulties? 
  • Can you look back and see a consistent spark of passion for any part of the law process that you could embrace in the future?
  • Do you really have a passion to make a professional career in art or music, or is that an old dream that needs to be gently laid to rest? (I’m not disregarding that fact that you can’t help but be creative—it’s deep in your nature, but you may not want to make a living at it, either.) Be honest.
  • If you are going to study photography, are you prepared to set up shop and market that skill?  Have you talked to other photographers about how this field has changed with new technology? What do you have to do to make a living at photography?
  • The conflict that is apparent underneath your earlier questions seems to be around thinking you should be pursuing the arts, but wanting something more tangible and immediate that can ease this tension and expectation that you are experiencing.  My sense is that if you were going to have a full-blown music or art career you would have done it by now—what do you think? What are your secret beliefs about your talent?  Many of us tend to depreciate ourselves, despite having massive talent as seen by others. However, if we have no confidence, our talent may not reach its audience.

      I do see creativity in your chart for the next couple of years, so I would think you’d definitely be wanting to express yourself or also studying photography. But I also see some kind of more formal job career with possibly a firm or non-profit.  This rather structured situation could also mean going to school.

    In looking at your chart, my feeling is that whatever you choose to focus on, you need a bit more training or education.  I have a feeling that next year (possibly March 2007?) you are going to come across some kind of training-- either on-the-job training or maybe a short-term course on something that requires research and writing.  You do have a law background now, so you might look for jobs that require research for law or governmental firms, or perhaps non-profits that help women get low-cost divorces.  This last pinnacle of 11/2 suggests you might be working with women or in counseling of some kind—helping others gain insight. 

    You will always be a person with multiple interests so you need a job that gives you flexibility—like visiting clients or something where each day has an interesting mix.  Grant writing for non-profits could be a good source of income as it gives you flexibility. If you were able to add photography to strengthen the emotional appeal of a grant proposal, you might find a fantastic new niche! You would need, however, to get into a good network who know about your work so that you can keep attracting clients.  I have a good friend who teaches grant writing workshops for non-profits, which allows her to work almost anywhere in the world, and is something she can arrange to suit her schedule.  By the way, she’s also a very wonderful artist who recently traveled to Tibet for the purpose of painting the wildflowers there.

    Getting to the level of teaching workshops, of course, doesn’t happen overnight.  But if you get really good at this—it could be a nice way to combine your creativity and your sense of order and system which perhaps partly attracted you to the law. 
Karen, from your past history and what you have said, you strike me as possibly one of the people I call the Visionary type!  Visionaries always feel inspired when they think of all the career possibilities that they might or could  pursue.  However, visionaries often try to avoid making a career choice because they can’t let go of that feeling that if they choose something, they are closing the door on something even better.  Somehow the open-ended confusion about what to do is preferable to feeling trapped in something. I’m not saying this is necessarily what you feel.

    To deal with the stress of your marital finances, you might want to take some kind of temporary work to stabilize yourself.  If you hear about a course of study that appeals to you, is not too costly or lengthy, then think of it as one more area of expertise you can acquire, not the last thing you’ll ever do. Spend some time thinking how you could use photography to make money.

    I have a feeling that by the time you are fifty, you will have found a good network of people (again I think it’s mostly women) where you can make a creative contribution.  In the meantime, one thing you might also consider is to develop skills as a public speaker (you are going into the 11/2 energy, which sometimes gets you into the limelight or up on the podium.)

Keep in touch, and let me know what happens!
Note:  After reading the above analysis, Karen emailed me with this message:

“When I read what you've written about the need for releasing judgments, I was floored, and started crying, with feelings of recognition and relief.  What's amazing is that I've had several  conversations this week with friends and my husband about the  ‘J’ part of being ‘INFJ,’ “[Karen is referring to the Meyers-Briggs psychological typing method.]

Karen continues, “My feeling is that I would like to be less  "J" [literally judging, but also refers to a tendency to want to control circumstances] “[I would like to be] doing instead what the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron recommends -  remaining open and curious, rather than meeting information with a  judgment.

“You mentioned counseling and research, too, which amazes me.  I don't think I'd mentioned to you in my letter that I've considered counseling as a profession.  My gut feeling has always been that I would make a good counselor.  This was what I loved about the law -  hearing people's stories and being able to help them address their  issues.  In my daily life, friends and even strangers at the airport confide their life stories in me.  I am also an information junkie, so research is something I love to do.
“Thank you again.”  Karen

Happy October,
Carol Adrienne


NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.


Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net




 


 
Alignment with Destiny

September, 2006                    Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

    Fall seems to bring up questions about “turning over a new leaf” or getting back on track after the distractions and lull of summer.  I receive many email inquiries from people about life purpose questions.  It occurred to me that I could answer a few of the ones that apply to many people, and offer a sort of “Advice Blog” on my website. This month’s column will be an answer to PF--a woman who ordered one of my numerology charts.  She agreed to let me use her life purpose question, and the information in her numerology chart, for this month’s column. Hereafter, I will answer questions of this type on my website Advice Blog (see note below.)
    In this column I am referring to P F’s numerology chart, which, of course, is individual to her.  However, I hope that some of the suggestions I offer will apply to others who may be currently between careers or jobs, and who want to live a life more in alignment with what is in their hearts.  Please, take what you like and leave the rest.

PF wrote: “I've just received my Primary Life Chart, and was curious to know if there is a definitive process or approach to consciously shape the rest of my life so that it tracks successfully to my soul's Destiny?
I have been in a rut for a long, long, long time and I don't want to scatter any more precious time or energy missing the mark.  I want to walk a spiritual and cosmic path that will allow me to connect (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and cosmically) to my true purpose.
At present, I am unemployed--I was laid off in June. I held the position of National Sales Manager for an on-line real-estate service provider. I am currently pursuing work in sales management, coaching/training, and/or supervision. Sales is what I know best, although at this point in my life, it feels as though I'm going through the motions, and that my job search is somehow mis-aligned with my spirit and heart (it's difficult to articulate, and  I hope that my explanation doesn't sound strange), which is probably why results  thus far have been so abysmal.  

Dear PF,
    I believe that the process you are seeking can be found by looking at the requirements of what you must learn and do as shown below. Life purpose is not to be found solely in finding the “one perfect job fit” although a good fit feels good.  However, your purpose (and an excellent prescription for the process you seek) is to take each day, no matter whether employed or not, find something new, interesting, or inspiring, and share that with others.  This process of intention, attention, and intuition and imagination attracts the match you are seeking.
    Here is a recap of your major numerological indicators concerning your life purpose. Let’s look at the matrix of your name and birth date and see the requirements you need for fulfillment…

According to the names given at birth, your life purpose is to.…

First Name        11/2     INSPIRE         Offer uplifting insights to others
Middle Name           1      LEAD              Be pro-active and run your own show.
Last Name        11/2      INSPIRE         Offer what you have learned to uplift others!

Lifetime DESTINY    5  Explore and innovate.   
    With inspiration and leadership highlighted in your birth names, your full Destiny
suggests developing more than one career. Sales is a big part of a 5 Destiny, but maybe
you need to sell something new. Can you market a service or product that is in line with
your values?  Your 5 Destiny says: Find opportunities that may be overlooked by more
traditional types.

Homework: Make a list of ideas for the following topics: 

  • What opportunities or unmet needs did I see in my last job?
  •  As a fifty-six-year-old woman, who is currently between engagements, what are the unmet needs I see in other women like myself?
  • Using my past expertise, what could I provide or teach?
  • What might be the bridge from my old life to the one I would LOVE to have?
  •  Make a list of one thing you want physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in your life and next career.
  • Make up the ideal job description that would fit these four life areas, which you would LOVE to see appear in the classified job listings.
  • Keep an open mind about how and when the match to your ideal job description shows up.
  • Draw a picture of a bridge and put three things you love to do on the left side (the past.)  On the right side of the bridge put three top things you want to be doing (the future.)  On the bridge mark off steps that need to happen to arrive at the other side. Have fun with this!  Be creative and put down anything that occurs to you, even if it seems a bit out of the ordinary.  This process stimulates your unconscious to create the picture.

Heart’s Desire        6 COUNSEL      
    A 6 Heart’s Desire often enjoys working out of the home, or in a small business that feels like a family. Either would give you some of the flexibility and freedom shown above in your 5 Lifetime Destiny.  The dynamic here is that you desire security (6 Heart’s Desire), but your 5 Destiny says, Take a risk!!  (Not a risk you can’t afford to take, however.)

Homework:

  • Keep learning and apply that knowledge in on-the-job advising (first time buyers of homes??), training (of sales people??)
  • Offer coaching in targeted on expertise from your own background. That’s your market.
  • Many new coaches feel discouraged getting clients, so how about setting up a group coaching opportunity, which is very dynamic, and cost-effective for your clients?  The point is to get the ball rolling and your momentum up.
  • Put together a talk on the three biggest mistakes people make in your industry and offer to speak to local groups for a nominal sum (Avoid giving things away for free!)


Your inborn talents and point of view from your birthday of December 10, 1949 show that what you bring to your 5 Destiny (which stands for promotion, new ideas, freedom, consulting, and variety) is…

Day of Birth     (10)    1    New Ideas, Implementation, Leadership 
    Again we see that you are a self-starter, and responsible (6 Heart’s Desire) team leader.  When you were laid off, was it for economic reasons, or because you needed to develop or upgrade knowledge or personal skills?  A valuable employee is self-confident, a good listener, and able to find the answers needed in a timely manner. 
    Or do you feel you could have been more useful to the company if you had kept up with some area of expertise (e.g., Internet advances, etc.?)  You are a person whose path requires up-to-date knowledge and ability to see the potential in obstacles (like your layoff.)
Homework:   Consider the potential in being laid off and having this time period to learn, make new contacts, or nourish your personal life?    

BIRTH PATH         9     HEAL OR EDUCATE  
    You are here to help people get what they want.
Homework:  Find one or two ways you could improve conditions in your area of expertise that would reach or apply to many people (or people from different cultures, or economically disadvantaged people.)  Volunteer somewhere while waiting for work—your Destiny implies that you may find opportunities while helping others.

    Okay, P F!  Take some time to digest the suggestions above, and don’t be in a rush. As shown in your Pinnacle Experience number 8 (which started when you were age 46,) you will continue to attract excellent career opportunities in anything related to real estate, financing, corporations, your own business, and being seen as an authority the rest of your life.
I believe that in the next two years, you would do well to increase your research skills, continue with your spiritual development, keep your physical health tiptop, and spend some time in a volunteer capacity.  Also renew or maintain good connections with people (particularly women) that you have worked with in the past. 
Happy September,
Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.


NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net.  Please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net

 
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