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Carol's Column
Dissolve Fear with Small Successes

November, 2006                    Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

Dear Carol,

Since 2002, I have been raising two grandchildren alone on a disability income. Taking a leap of faith, I just achieved an MBA-HR degree, but with a huge debt.  I started with a marketing focus, but a family business owner asked me to change. That position has now fallen through. I have little formal work experience, but some non-profit experience. I am scared. My question is how do I handle my FEAR? How can I not just cover my fear, but genuinely get through it?  It is paralyzing.

As a child I was a battered, severely beaten, child.  At age nine, I lost my beloved father, who was my protector.  Yes, I have verbally forgiven my mother (who is still living), but am not close to my family. 

How can I build up my own inner strength, and resolve to deal with my fear so I can pursue this much desired life change?

Nana

Dear Nana,

I am very impressed with your ability to take on the responsibility of raising two grandchildren on a small income, AND to gain an MBA advanced degree in your fifties.  Not only that, but you have had to overcome severe setbacks as a battered child. In addition, I don’t detect a blaming attitude in your email. 

May I point out that you ALREADY possess an undeniably large quotient of inner strength—which you may be minimizing as you search for your next career or job choice?  You are fifty-three and still going strong.

Thanks for sending me your original birth name and birth date.  A brief numerological analysis shows the following:

Numerological Expression of Your In-born Nature

Naturally Compassionate

Your nature has a strong bent for helping others (9 Birth Path), but your biggest lessons and achievements are all about gaining a strong sense of self (1 day of birth, 1 Destiny (from your birth name) and a 1 Ultimate Goal. 

Credible and Persevering

You appear very credible to others (an 8 Personality) whenever you are engaged in problem-solving.  Inside, however, your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, sometimes tends to make you a bit of a softy. You might re-think your ideas over and over, thus draining the focus of your goal-setting.  To keep a balance, you might want to keep some spiritually-uplifting books by your bedside!  I would expect you to well respond to light, beauty, self-help books, and good music.

Enjoys Collaboration

Because of your 11/2 Heart’s Desire, I think that you get much stronger in motivation when you have support and collaboration from a like-minded colleague, friend, or partner.  However, with a 1 Destiny (with a focus on self-sufficiency,) you may seldom find these kind of people!  Be careful not to feel like a lone crusader. Your Destiny of independence, integrity, and breaking new ground keeps giving you a new challenge to confront—but remember--you never have more than you can handle, when you really think about it. 

Time for Material Success

In looking at your timing influences, I see that you have been in the powerful 8 energy since age forty-six.  This means that your true direction right now involves business, management, and financial success—with the challenge and ability to make a good living. 

I’m intrigued by your statement that a “family business owner” asked you to change your marketing focus, but that position fell through.  It sounds like you have some feelings about this person who supposedly got you off track.  Can you take another look at this event and see a greater purpose to it?  What did you learn?  Perhaps you learned that you need to trust yourself more than others who might not be as stable as you had wished.  I don’t have the answer for you on that, but I’d say don’t make that event too momentous in nature. 

No Excuses

In your numerology timing influences, I think the year 2005 was a turning point for you.  Karmically, it gave you the challenge of trusting your intuition—turning within to look for the answers.  Don’t let anything stop you from pursuing a new life as a business person or manager—and being the inspiration and support for those two grandchildren.  They seem to be in your life for some time—perhaps until around 2016 when you are sixty-three.  Currently, influences indicate that you might get some referrals to jobs from friends, or even some lucky breaks from part-time jobs that at first don’t look important. 

Get Stable First

Your big question is how to handle fear. I’d say right now, you need to get stability in your life, rather than look for any grand answers.  With your new degree, you might look for work in banking—even starting as a teller would provide a daily structure to help you manage or even eliminate that fear.

I remember a wonderful former client who changed careers from non-profit and wanted to do something in financial counseling.  She was extremely fearful and unself-confident about her future.  She had no experience and no sense of how she could get into the investment or financial planning field.  She took an entry-level job as a teller in a bank, and kept making an intention to be shown another step towards her goal.  At first she said that she hated selling, but was transferred to another department.  She was very timid with customers who asked about financial products.  Gradually, as her confidence grew, she found that a new side of herself developed.  She began to love her work.

Seemingly miraculously, she discovered new openings at the bank for financial counseling, and is now extremely happy with her work.  She was patient, waited for the right opportunities, and was willing to try new things.  She even fell in love during this process, married and bought a house!  Her story shows that we can start over no matter where we are in life.  The past does not have to determine our future.

To Fortify Intention Create a Practice of Good Habits

To handle some of your outstanding debt, start putting a few dollars in an envelope every week—even out of your disability income.  I know it sounds like a drop in the bucket, but the point of this practice is to give you a visible container for your intention to pay off your debts.  Fear is handled when we experience small (even tiny) successes on a regular basis. 

Create a Clear Intention of What You Want or Need

Make a list describing the kind of work atmosphere where you would feel strong and confident.  Let friends know that you are willing to work, manage a business, or fill in somewhere part-time.  At home, clean out cluttered areas of your house, or repaint a room.  Discard clothes that you never wear.  If they are old enough, get your grandchildren involved in small projects to improve their room or the outside areas.

Affirm Your Strength and Willingness

When fear thoughts come into your head, notice if they sound like the voices of the past (maybe your mother or other relatives.)  Say to yourself, “I have handled far worse things than this temporary setback.  I am willing to do whatever it takes to put my life back on course.” 

Take Care of Health

Make sure you take care of your health by spending time outside, walking at least thirty minutes a day, or doing yoga stretches at home.  Avoid being home alone for long stretches of time where you tend to feel isolated.  Get out. Take a walk.  Go to the library. Meet new people. Eventually, your life will be assisted by synchronicity and a little help from friends.

Much love,
Carol Adrienne
Happy November!
                                            To Readers:
NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.
Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net




 





 

 

 
Purpose and Practicality

October, 2006

Carol Adrienne, Ph. D.


    Karen (not her real name) wrote in with a question that I think applies to many of us.  How do we become the people we were born to be?  In Karen’s case—she asks how to embrace the creative person she is—and still be practical?  She wrote:

“I am in a number 9 year [numerologically.]  I'm thinking about returning to school  to study photography or writing, but at the same time, I find  myself  worried about whether such choices make practical sense.   My background is anthropology.  I took an unfortunate detour to law school, quitting two papers shy of completion.  I have spent two years getting my health back while dealing with feelings of utter failure, even though I know in my heart I just couldn't continue in the law.  The universe kept sending messages -- breast cancer, divorce, child's bi-polar breakdown--that perhaps I wasn't headed in the right direction.  I also disliked the adversarial nature of the profession.  So now I'm faced with choosing a direction while overcoming a sense of having failed.   How do I make best use of this number 9 year?”

    I asked Karen to say more about her situation. She wrote back to say that she felt like an outsider in law, but had liked the philosophy of law. In her twenties she was a singer, and played the piano and guitar. She’s been a muralist, ceramist, artist's representative, photographer, and writer for small papers. Another option, she says, might be to pursue grant writing as she has some volunteer experience.

    Karen also says that she has suffered tremendous stress and financial drain from an early first marriage to an abusive man.  Despite being happily married now, she says there is some tension because she feels that her husband is waiting for her to get clear about her career and start making money. Interestingly, a trip to visit an old professor with whom she had an affair in her twenties, has recently re-energized her, but she still feels scattered and uncertain of what direction to pursue.  A quick review of Karen’s chart shows:

    Each of her first, middle, and last names come to the same total—the number 4, indicating a very persevering nature that would resonate with law and the earth (painting, ceramics)  and social conditions (anthropology.) 

    Both Karen’s  full life-time Destiny as well as her Realization Number (final outcome) are 3-- clearly indicating a creative lifetime.  Her Heart’s Desire of 8 shows that she wants to attain professional status and recognition.  The 8 also demands that she be able to deal with money and inter-personal power (something she learned in her relationship with the abusive first partner, and probably the reason she chose to study law.)  Her total birth date numbers give her a 9 Birth Path—signaling a person who is broad minded, philosophical, multi-talented, and humanitarian (she liked the philosophy of law, has already developed a facility for grant writing, has already studied anthropology, and expressed herself in several of the arts.)

    Karen’s three missing numbers (she has no letters in her name) are 2, 6, and 7.  The 2 and 6 indicates that she will have more than one marriage, and learn how to deal with partnership without losing her center. The missing 7 (and she also has a 7 Day of Birth) may be a clue to a possible direction--research. 

     Karen, your question about how to make the best use of a 9 year may be in the realm of putting the past to rest.  Interestingly, you reconnected with your old professor in this 9 year.  The 9 is a time of completion, letting go, integrating the past with insight, and also expanding your horizons.  Emotions are frequently up and down as you make the transition to another level of knowing and expressing yourself.

    One could say that your real work is about to begin.  In January you are due to enter a 1 year—starting not only a whole new 9-year cycle, but also stepping into your last major Pinnacle—the inspiring 11/2.  In 2006 (your 9 personal year) you now have only 3 more months to complete the requirements of this period.  Those requirements have something to do with how you are holding judgments against yourself and the past.  For example,  
 Can you reframe your sense of failure about not finishing the law degree?  Can you appreciate all the effort you put into getting that far, and the honesty and courage it took to not continue in something that didn’t feel quite right?  Whose voice are you carrying around that says you failed?

  •   Can you appreciate what you have learned so far in standing up for yourself in your previous marriage/divorce difficulties? 
  • Can you look back and see a consistent spark of passion for any part of the law process that you could embrace in the future?
  • Do you really have a passion to make a professional career in art or music, or is that an old dream that needs to be gently laid to rest? (I’m not disregarding that fact that you can’t help but be creative—it’s deep in your nature, but you may not want to make a living at it, either.) Be honest.
  • If you are going to study photography, are you prepared to set up shop and market that skill?  Have you talked to other photographers about how this field has changed with new technology? What do you have to do to make a living at photography?
  • The conflict that is apparent underneath your earlier questions seems to be around thinking you should be pursuing the arts, but wanting something more tangible and immediate that can ease this tension and expectation that you are experiencing.  My sense is that if you were going to have a full-blown music or art career you would have done it by now—what do you think? What are your secret beliefs about your talent?  Many of us tend to depreciate ourselves, despite having massive talent as seen by others. However, if we have no confidence, our talent may not reach its audience.

      I do see creativity in your chart for the next couple of years, so I would think you’d definitely be wanting to express yourself or also studying photography. But I also see some kind of more formal job career with possibly a firm or non-profit.  This rather structured situation could also mean going to school.

    In looking at your chart, my feeling is that whatever you choose to focus on, you need a bit more training or education.  I have a feeling that next year (possibly March 2007?) you are going to come across some kind of training-- either on-the-job training or maybe a short-term course on something that requires research and writing.  You do have a law background now, so you might look for jobs that require research for law or governmental firms, or perhaps non-profits that help women get low-cost divorces.  This last pinnacle of 11/2 suggests you might be working with women or in counseling of some kind—helping others gain insight. 

    You will always be a person with multiple interests so you need a job that gives you flexibility—like visiting clients or something where each day has an interesting mix.  Grant writing for non-profits could be a good source of income as it gives you flexibility. If you were able to add photography to strengthen the emotional appeal of a grant proposal, you might find a fantastic new niche! You would need, however, to get into a good network who know about your work so that you can keep attracting clients.  I have a good friend who teaches grant writing workshops for non-profits, which allows her to work almost anywhere in the world, and is something she can arrange to suit her schedule.  By the way, she’s also a very wonderful artist who recently traveled to Tibet for the purpose of painting the wildflowers there.

    Getting to the level of teaching workshops, of course, doesn’t happen overnight.  But if you get really good at this—it could be a nice way to combine your creativity and your sense of order and system which perhaps partly attracted you to the law. 
Karen, from your past history and what you have said, you strike me as possibly one of the people I call the Visionary type!  Visionaries always feel inspired when they think of all the career possibilities that they might or could  pursue.  However, visionaries often try to avoid making a career choice because they can’t let go of that feeling that if they choose something, they are closing the door on something even better.  Somehow the open-ended confusion about what to do is preferable to feeling trapped in something. I’m not saying this is necessarily what you feel.

    To deal with the stress of your marital finances, you might want to take some kind of temporary work to stabilize yourself.  If you hear about a course of study that appeals to you, is not too costly or lengthy, then think of it as one more area of expertise you can acquire, not the last thing you’ll ever do. Spend some time thinking how you could use photography to make money.

    I have a feeling that by the time you are fifty, you will have found a good network of people (again I think it’s mostly women) where you can make a creative contribution.  In the meantime, one thing you might also consider is to develop skills as a public speaker (you are going into the 11/2 energy, which sometimes gets you into the limelight or up on the podium.)

Keep in touch, and let me know what happens!
Note:  After reading the above analysis, Karen emailed me with this message:

“When I read what you've written about the need for releasing judgments, I was floored, and started crying, with feelings of recognition and relief.  What's amazing is that I've had several  conversations this week with friends and my husband about the  ‘J’ part of being ‘INFJ,’ “[Karen is referring to the Meyers-Briggs psychological typing method.]

Karen continues, “My feeling is that I would like to be less  "J" [literally judging, but also refers to a tendency to want to control circumstances] “[I would like to be] doing instead what the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron recommends -  remaining open and curious, rather than meeting information with a  judgment.

“You mentioned counseling and research, too, which amazes me.  I don't think I'd mentioned to you in my letter that I've considered counseling as a profession.  My gut feeling has always been that I would make a good counselor.  This was what I loved about the law -  hearing people's stories and being able to help them address their  issues.  In my daily life, friends and even strangers at the airport confide their life stories in me.  I am also an information junkie, so research is something I love to do.
“Thank you again.”  Karen

Happy October,
Carol Adrienne


NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net. In the subject line, please write Column/Blog Question.


Also, please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net




 


 
Alignment with Destiny

September, 2006                    Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

    Fall seems to bring up questions about “turning over a new leaf” or getting back on track after the distractions and lull of summer.  I receive many email inquiries from people about life purpose questions.  It occurred to me that I could answer a few of the ones that apply to many people, and offer a sort of “Advice Blog” on my website. This month’s column will be an answer to PF--a woman who ordered one of my numerology charts.  She agreed to let me use her life purpose question, and the information in her numerology chart, for this month’s column. Hereafter, I will answer questions of this type on my website Advice Blog (see note below.)
    In this column I am referring to P F’s numerology chart, which, of course, is individual to her.  However, I hope that some of the suggestions I offer will apply to others who may be currently between careers or jobs, and who want to live a life more in alignment with what is in their hearts.  Please, take what you like and leave the rest.

PF wrote: “I've just received my Primary Life Chart, and was curious to know if there is a definitive process or approach to consciously shape the rest of my life so that it tracks successfully to my soul's Destiny?
I have been in a rut for a long, long, long time and I don't want to scatter any more precious time or energy missing the mark.  I want to walk a spiritual and cosmic path that will allow me to connect (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and cosmically) to my true purpose.
At present, I am unemployed--I was laid off in June. I held the position of National Sales Manager for an on-line real-estate service provider. I am currently pursuing work in sales management, coaching/training, and/or supervision. Sales is what I know best, although at this point in my life, it feels as though I'm going through the motions, and that my job search is somehow mis-aligned with my spirit and heart (it's difficult to articulate, and  I hope that my explanation doesn't sound strange), which is probably why results  thus far have been so abysmal.  

Dear PF,
    I believe that the process you are seeking can be found by looking at the requirements of what you must learn and do as shown below. Life purpose is not to be found solely in finding the “one perfect job fit” although a good fit feels good.  However, your purpose (and an excellent prescription for the process you seek) is to take each day, no matter whether employed or not, find something new, interesting, or inspiring, and share that with others.  This process of intention, attention, and intuition and imagination attracts the match you are seeking.
    Here is a recap of your major numerological indicators concerning your life purpose. Let’s look at the matrix of your name and birth date and see the requirements you need for fulfillment…

According to the names given at birth, your life purpose is to.…

First Name        11/2     INSPIRE         Offer uplifting insights to others
Middle Name           1      LEAD              Be pro-active and run your own show.
Last Name        11/2      INSPIRE         Offer what you have learned to uplift others!

Lifetime DESTINY    5  Explore and innovate.   
    With inspiration and leadership highlighted in your birth names, your full Destiny
suggests developing more than one career. Sales is a big part of a 5 Destiny, but maybe
you need to sell something new. Can you market a service or product that is in line with
your values?  Your 5 Destiny says: Find opportunities that may be overlooked by more
traditional types.

Homework: Make a list of ideas for the following topics: 

  • What opportunities or unmet needs did I see in my last job?
  •  As a fifty-six-year-old woman, who is currently between engagements, what are the unmet needs I see in other women like myself?
  • Using my past expertise, what could I provide or teach?
  • What might be the bridge from my old life to the one I would LOVE to have?
  •  Make a list of one thing you want physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in your life and next career.
  • Make up the ideal job description that would fit these four life areas, which you would LOVE to see appear in the classified job listings.
  • Keep an open mind about how and when the match to your ideal job description shows up.
  • Draw a picture of a bridge and put three things you love to do on the left side (the past.)  On the right side of the bridge put three top things you want to be doing (the future.)  On the bridge mark off steps that need to happen to arrive at the other side. Have fun with this!  Be creative and put down anything that occurs to you, even if it seems a bit out of the ordinary.  This process stimulates your unconscious to create the picture.

Heart’s Desire        6 COUNSEL      
    A 6 Heart’s Desire often enjoys working out of the home, or in a small business that feels like a family. Either would give you some of the flexibility and freedom shown above in your 5 Lifetime Destiny.  The dynamic here is that you desire security (6 Heart’s Desire), but your 5 Destiny says, Take a risk!!  (Not a risk you can’t afford to take, however.)

Homework:

  • Keep learning and apply that knowledge in on-the-job advising (first time buyers of homes??), training (of sales people??)
  • Offer coaching in targeted on expertise from your own background. That’s your market.
  • Many new coaches feel discouraged getting clients, so how about setting up a group coaching opportunity, which is very dynamic, and cost-effective for your clients?  The point is to get the ball rolling and your momentum up.
  • Put together a talk on the three biggest mistakes people make in your industry and offer to speak to local groups for a nominal sum (Avoid giving things away for free!)


Your inborn talents and point of view from your birthday of December 10, 1949 show that what you bring to your 5 Destiny (which stands for promotion, new ideas, freedom, consulting, and variety) is…

Day of Birth     (10)    1    New Ideas, Implementation, Leadership 
    Again we see that you are a self-starter, and responsible (6 Heart’s Desire) team leader.  When you were laid off, was it for economic reasons, or because you needed to develop or upgrade knowledge or personal skills?  A valuable employee is self-confident, a good listener, and able to find the answers needed in a timely manner. 
    Or do you feel you could have been more useful to the company if you had kept up with some area of expertise (e.g., Internet advances, etc.?)  You are a person whose path requires up-to-date knowledge and ability to see the potential in obstacles (like your layoff.)
Homework:   Consider the potential in being laid off and having this time period to learn, make new contacts, or nourish your personal life?    

BIRTH PATH         9     HEAL OR EDUCATE  
    You are here to help people get what they want.
Homework:  Find one or two ways you could improve conditions in your area of expertise that would reach or apply to many people (or people from different cultures, or economically disadvantaged people.)  Volunteer somewhere while waiting for work—your Destiny implies that you may find opportunities while helping others.

    Okay, P F!  Take some time to digest the suggestions above, and don’t be in a rush. As shown in your Pinnacle Experience number 8 (which started when you were age 46,) you will continue to attract excellent career opportunities in anything related to real estate, financing, corporations, your own business, and being seen as an authority the rest of your life.
I believe that in the next two years, you would do well to increase your research skills, continue with your spiritual development, keep your physical health tiptop, and spend some time in a volunteer capacity.  Also renew or maintain good connections with people (particularly women) that you have worked with in the past. 
Happy September,
Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.


NOTE regarding email questions: Send your email life purpose questions (limit 200 words) along with your full, original name as shown on the birth certificate, and birth date to Carol22@sonic.net.  Please know that while I deeply appreciate your submissions, I will be able to respond only to those emails that I select for the Advice Blog on my website (www.CarolAdrienne.com). All others will be reviewed as possibilities for future blogs.  If they are selected, I will contact you.  Please do not inquire if you have not heard from me.  If your questions are not answered, it may be because the material is of such nature that it would not be suitable for the general reader.  Answers on the Advice Blog do not constitute a full numerology reading as offered in consultations, coaching or the Primary Life Charts available for sale on the website.

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net

 
Live a Successful Life

 August 1, 2006                                                                               Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.

     Last weekend I attended Angeles Arrien’s workshop, The Second Half of Life:  Opening the 8 Gates of Wisdom, based on her book of the same title. Angeles, a cross-cultural anthropologist, award-winning author, educator, and consultant to organizations and businesses has a gift for tracking the presence of the Soul.  In her latest book, she shows us how to pass through the eight gates of wisdom—the gates that open us to the deepest levels of our unfolding purpose. 
    I highly recommend that you read the book for yourself, but I wanted to share some ideas and useful practices that came up during the weekend. It’s not possible to recap the whole wonderful weekend.

    Here are the 8 Gates of Wisdom
The Silver Gate          

  Where we reconnect with our creativity.  When new things enter our  life.  Often marked by the entrance of an important stranger in each decade.

The White Picket Fence Gate  

    Where we drop our roles and uncover our true face.

The Clay Gate           

    Where we deal with sexuality, intimacy and the ever-changing
nature of our body.
The Black and White Gate  

  Where we assess ourselves in relationship. Where we lose our cleverness, need to control and appease.
The Rustic Gate       

    Where we reconnect with our creative fire and leave some part
of our life dream behind.
The Bone Gate   

    Where we shed the false self. A place of exposure and revelation.  Where we let go of the idea that other people are responsible for our happiness, or that we can change them.
The Natural Gate    Where we discover what makes us truly happy, and trust our natural being and our inner wilderness.
The Gold Gate      

      Where we learn about non attachment.  Where we can care
deeply and remain objective. Where we feel fulfilled and have closure, knowing where our life has had love and meaning.
Assess Your Life So Far
    In our twenties we plunge into adulthood ambitions, relationship and career choices. Usually, the ensuing duties keep us focused on meeting external expectations and bench marks rather than noticing our internal process. 
    At about age fifty—give or take a few years—we face new developmental stages.  We begin to notice these stages when, for example, coping with changes in the body, or facing the measure of our success and the development of gifts and talents.  We begin to feel the weight of the past, and long to let go of past inhibitions. We tentatively wonder what about what legacy we will be leaving.  Looking at the flow of our lives throughout the decades of life gives us a chance to track three important areas:  Where have I felt a creative fire in the past? Where have I been challenged? What have I not yet achieved or experienced?

    According to native peoples, there are two questions whispered in our ears:  Destiny says, “Are you living fully to your purpose?”  Death says, “Are you taking life for granted?”
During the seminar, it occurred to me that I have been entering into an integrative phase of my life.  Angeles says, “We are creatures of nature.  Natures’ rhythm is medium to slow.  Nothing survives if it is fiercely independent or too dependent. We need time for both growth and for integration.”  I had noticed this year that my rhythm has slowed down, and it feels right.  I don’t need to pursue everything that comes along.

Pay Attention to Your Inner Process
    As we move forward, we need to leave something behind.  Perhaps we leave behind an old dream because we recognize that it is no longer something we really want.  Perhaps we come to a place where we can finally forgive ourselves for past choices, or forgive someone who caused us pain. We let go of this old attachment so that we can move on without needing to identify ourselves by these old wounds. 

    Adult development takes on new energy in our fifties, as we begin to prepare for the wisdom years.  With forty-odd years of experience, we should now be able to realize what we need to do to take care of the body, so that it will take care of us!
Our ever-present need to make a contribution in the world gains even more strength. We ask: What are my gifts and my purpose?  What am I supposed to be doing?  Is this all there is?  What new thing is calling me?

    The sixties are the youth of our wisdom years, the seventies are the mid-life, and the eighties and nineties are the true time of elderhood.  Throughout these phases two things keep us on track: Learning to pace ourselves, and moving toward that which has most meaning.  Alignment to the true self’s talents coupled with practice, moves us into craftsmanship.  Or, our creative curiosity and fire may move us into a dramatic shift into something completely new..  For example, Dr. Seuss, the well-known author of outrageously-drawn and rhyming children’s books, had been an illustrator of very detailed works until age fifty.  At that point, he said, “Enough!” A new body of work emerged that impacted generations of children and adults.

    Far from the idea of “life being over” after fifty or sixty, we are challenged to find our generativity and creativity—else we face stagnation, boredom, and despair.  The route to fulfillment lies in involvement in mental growth, selflessness, openness, flexibility, realistic body awareness, exploration, a sense of being needed, and daily contribution to life and other people.

The Silver Gate—The Gate Of Birth And New Things
    I resonate with the Silver Gate. What drives me most is learning.  I like the idea practiced by people in the Pyrenees Mountains of Spain. Each month on the date of their birth, they make a point of doing something they have never done before. (Unknowingly, I was taking this class on my day—and in August I will be in Idaho on a family vacation to a place I’ve never been.) 

    The Silver Gate demands possibility thinking, which is different from creative problem-solving.  At this Gate we take the perspective of curiosity and patience (I’m learning to be more curious than critical—and am always learning patience.) 
Angeles commits each year to studying a person who has inspired her.  For instance, she explored the work of philosopher, Spinoza, known for being a consummate mediator of individual and community conflicts. When asked how he kept an equanimous state of mind, he said that a guiding principle for him was, “Nothing eternal is at stake here.”  This comment has remained with me. 

    Another phrase that stood out for me in the class was: (I think it was from an indigenous people’s philosophy.)  “Happiness. It’s just a choice away.”

Focus on where You Feel Creative Fire
    From clients, I often hear the question, What should I do? 

    What deeply touches us is worth knowing and exploring.  Connecting with our creativity (whether it be in areas such as, gardening, writing, music, teaching, counseling, designing, or business) puts us into the process of being, rather than having things.  Creativity, discovery, and curiosity are more apt to bring us fulfillment than ambitions based on looking good, acquiring status, or increasing our material things.

Practices for Opening Your Life to Creative Flow
    Some of the inspiring suggestions offered in The Second Half of Life that have remained with me are:

  •  Give away or discard twenty-seven items each day for nine days
  •  Spend an hour outdoors every day.
  •  Spend at least a half hour every day in silence
  •  Notice and give gratitude for all that makes you happy and brings you joy
  •  Make a list of interests you have put aside.  Are there any whose time has come?
  •  Take a step toward realizing a dream
  •  Be capable of taking action, even though feeling fear
  •  Set aside one full day each month to spend in silence or nature.

    What is the most important thing to remember as we move towards the end of our journey (or even now wherever in life you are)?  Angeles quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson, who says: “To leave the world a bit better, whether by healthy child, a garden patch, or redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you live—that is to have succeeded.”
Have an adventure this month!
Namaste,
Carol Adrienne

For more information about Angeles Arrien’s books, workshops, and programs, please visit www.angelesarrien.com.


Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an intuitive counselor and life coach who has helped thousands of people work through doubt, procrastination, and obstacles to create the life they want to live. Private consultations and coaching available. Contact her at Carol22@sonic.net


 




 
Synchronicity, Intuition, and Leadership

 

July, 2006                                                                                Carol Adrienne, Ph.D.


    Last month I traveled to Amsterdam to facilitate a workshop on synchronicity, leadership, intuition, and presence at the invitation of Felix Brabander and Platform Synchroniciteit.  Fittingly, I experienced a grand synchronicity of my own, which I will describe below.

    The workshop was attended by many life coaches and corporate trainers, as well as people starting their own practices and businesses.  It was a high-energy group! 

We Can Be Leaders In Those Areas We Value--Where We Feel We Have Something To Gain And Something To Offer.

    People were asked to evaluate their current satisfaction with sixteen areas of life—such as employment, relationship intimacy, income, savings, fitness and so on.  In delving deeper, they began to make connections between those areas in which they were most satisfied and the factors that they thought accounted for that success.  Most often, it seemed to be that people were simply paying a lot of attention to what they did in an area in which they were satisfied, such as friendships.  For example, they made sure to keep in contact, they asked people to social events, supported them through crises, and generally maintained a sense of flow—without a great deal of inner resistance, fear, or low self-esteem.  In short, they were motivated to make friendships a priority, active in their involvement, and not very worried about friendship.  You might even say they were leaders in the area of friendship. 

    In other areas—for example, savings--people again found that the significant factor was purposeful attention--setting goals--plus acting with consistent behavior—in addition to an overall positive attitude.  Not surprisingly, intention (to be successful) and attention (to details and commitments) were key elements in creating success.

    After identifying specific success factors or strengths, people began to imagine how they could apply those ideas to another area that they wished to improve.  Voila! Suddenly, it was clear how they could increase finances by being as attentive and consistent as they were, for example, in their health care.  Success was no longer such a mysterious outcome, but the result of positive energy coupled with action flowing toward an issue.

Leadership Emerges out of Being Authentic, and Responding In The Moment To What Is Needed

    Leadership is the attitude of being willing to take on a challenge and step out of the familiar into the unknown. For example, one of the women who helped organize the seminar, Ingeborg van Meggelen, is an entrepreneur and coach with a passion for helping other women develop their businesses. Van Meggelen is now moving towards putting together a resource center in the Netherlands, which she hopes will help support women in practical ways by providing meeting space and Internet resources, as well as networking support and education.  “I make a point of listening to my intuition,” says  van Meggelen, “and I love it when synchronicity opens a new door that shows me the next step.”

Leadership Listens to Intuition—Priorities Emerge
    Another participant, José Brouwer, forty-two, described how she made a big transition from the corporate world to establishing a foundation called Join!forkids.  It wasn’t easy, she said, but she kept following the subtle messages of her intuition.  A few years ago, her husband was transferred to Scotland, so they sold their house and she quit her job.  Within three months things changed unexpectedly. They decided not to move to Scotland, and suddenly they had no house, no jobs, and no idea what to do with the rest of their lives. After travelling for thirteen months, Brouwer and her husband came home to face a family tragedy, and again felt at a loss as to what the future held.  “I made a list of what is really important to me—traveling, networking with good people, photography, and children, but I didn’t know what to do with it.  I think I was afraid to make up my mind on anything, because I felt then I would have to stay with it forever.” 

Strong Leaders Know How to Be Firm and Flexible
    Brouwer raises a common problem people face when searching for their life purpose—that is, making life purpose about finding the right “job title.”  Many people yearn to find a definite niche or defined life purpose so then they can go “do it” and be happy.  The search for purpose can all too often be a wish to pin down that one magic role that will give us our true identity and take away the confusion.  Urgency to find that special something is even stronger if we feel that we’ve made mistakes in the past.  The pressure not to “waste time” makes it even more important to find one thing and stick with it—‘forever.”

    One’s purpose—and the opportunity for leadership-- is to be found virtually in each moment.  Ask yourself what needs to be done next?  Then what?  Then what?

    After studying many accounts of past life regression sessions, and reading a broad range of spiritual teachings, I have come to believe that our overall life purpose is selected before we are born, and that our job is to discover it as we live each moment.  Our life is an unfolding, unique process that started the moment we drew our first breath—and our parents, early circumstances, physical attributes, and natural tendencies, as well as the important people we encounter are all part of the purpose.  Nothing is accidental—and yet outcomes are not pre-determined. 

Trying to name a life purpose may or may not clear the confusion of what we are here to do.  It’s almost as if the sense of identifying one’s life purpose comes after getting involved with something.  If something clicks, then you feel it is purposeful.

Leadership is About Commitment
    "Once I committed to the idea of starting a charity foundation for Dutch people who left everything behind in their home country to start a project for children, I couldn't believe how effortlessly I met the right people. I continue to experience the feeling that the less I do, the more I receive. I just have to trust that things will come out alright, but not necessarily the way I want it."

The emphasis of her foundation is to become a brand for small-scale initiatives for children started and run by Dutch people, who are inspired to support less fortunate children by giving them a home, a safe place to live and sleep, self respect and self trust, education, and assistance in learning a profession.. The website of Join!forkids not only supports and gives credibility and exposure to the various projects for children, it also helps to raise funds.

Synchronicity is a Response to Something We Need or are Destined to Encounter
    Brouwer recounts, “When I started Join!forkids, I was uncertain about everything, and then in the first month I had a lunch with someone whom I had only met once before. She brought me in contact with a women’s club for marketing and communication. They invited me as a guest speaker, and helped me with marketing the program. Another time, at a reception where I was not much in the mood for talking, I was taking pictures.  Because of that that I ended up meeting a man who had just sold his company and was looking for a charity foundation in which he could express his network and fundraising skills.”

    Demonstrating the ripple effect of work done with passion and flow, Brouwer says, “Everyone who volunteers and participates feels the benefits of getting involved, not just the kids.”

Synchronicity and Timing
    For the lunch break at the seminar, we ascended to the top floor of the building.  By the time I got my plate of food, the big table was filled.  My boyfriend, Robert, and I decided to sit at one of the side booths.  We were joined by two women and a couple, Karel and Marjanne de Vries.  During the introductions at the beginning of the class, Marjanne had said that she was a past life regression therapist—something that had caused a frisson of energy when I heard it. 

    At lunch, as she spoke about her work, my memory stirred again, reminding me of the Dutch author that I had studied some years ago on the subject of reincarnation and past life reports from people undergoing regression.  I was struggling to remember the name (which normally I would have easily done,) and when I mentioned my interest in this special author, Marjanne said, “Oh, do you mean Hans TenDam?”  “Yes!” I said, “That’s the name.”  Karel said, “He’s one of our best friends,” and Marjanne said, “That’s who I studied with.”  I told them enthusiastically how much I had enjoyed his book, Exploring Reincarnation, when I was writing the Tenth Insight Experiential Guide, the second guidebook for The Celestine Prophecy.  After a pause, Karel said, “Would you like to meet Hans?”  Without thinking twice, I said yes.  Karel put through a call on his cell phone, and within thirty seconds, I was speaking directly with Dr. TenDam.  As it turned out he was available to see me four days later. (He is frequently traveling internationally.) I am still amazed at how easily this introduction was made, with no effort on my part—something that seems to have taken about ten years to happen!

    Robert and I took the train out to the village of Ommen, about an hour outside of Amsterdam, where Dr. TenDam met us at the station.  I had a two-hour session with him, in which I was able to access what I believe to be one of my past lives.  This was a lifetime as a rank and file soldier—a sort of palace guard—a life of no particular significance, which nonetheless, gave me a chance to “cool out” between more strenuous lifetimes.  Analyzing that lifetime turned out to give many insights into some questions I have had.  Meeting and talking with Dr. TenDam allowed me to expand my knowledge of the regression process, as well as throw some light on current life issues. 

    Thank you Holland, for all the wonderful and synchronistic opportunities! And kudos to Amsterdam’s restaurant Nam Kee at Zeedijk 111-113, for some of the most delicious Chinese food, I’ve ever eaten!

Happy July!

Carol Adrienne

Contact Information:

Felix Brabander   felixbrabander@synchroniciteit.nl

Ingeborg van Meggelen   i.v.meggelen@worldonline.nl

José Brouwer, jose@joinforkids.org      www.joinforkids.org

Karel and Marjanne de Vries    devries@snafu.de

Dr. Hans TenDam   www.tasso.nl

 

 
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