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How Can I Overcome Shyness?


Mie from Japan writes:

My date of birth is 12/29/1980

I don't feel that I am good at communicating with others. I really suffer and feel inadequate in social situations. I especially have difficulty in keeping a conversation going. I cannot find a good topic to talk about.

I often find myself feeling outside the conversation. Some people are very attentive and patient enough to talk to with me but I think others become weary, and I don't want to feel like a burden.  A lot of times I'll just leave or avoid a situation, preferring to be alone.  As a result, I feel like I am always outside the loop. Any advice?  

Dear Mie-san,

I felt exactly the same way when I was much younger—and sometimes I still do! Don't worry about being shy. Your 29 day of birth adds up to the Master Number 11/2, which is called the Inspirer. The number 2 is often shy at first, because you need a little more time than others to listen before you risk saying something on your own.

The key to becoming more comfortable is to prepare yourself with three things. First, choose a simple opening line when meeting someone you don't already know. “Hi, my name is Mie. What is your name?”

Second, prepare a mental list of two or three questions that you can use in any situation. For example, “What brings you here (to whatever event or activity is happening) today?” or try, “I don't know many people here. What do you know about [the people in this business meeting, the people at the party, etc.]. Avoid asking questions that can be answered by a simple “yes” or “no” because you want to focus on getting the other person to start talking (without sounding too nosy.)

Third, keep up to date on celebrities, recent events, sports, news, weird but funny news stories, so you can mention a few details in conversation. You don't have to make any brilliant remarks, but you will feel more confident if you increase your general knowledge of what's going on in the world.

Wear an unusual piece of jewelry that can be a conversation-starter. Let people that know you collect fun pieces as a hobby, or ask if they have something they collect. Where do they go for the best deals? People love to share advice or info on subjects like shopping, television shows, new movies, medical remedies, phone apps, etc.

At a gathering, avoid closed body language. Look friendly and open to talking. Choose a group and look for a gap where you can stand and listen for awhile. Don't try to interrupt or saying anything until there is a pause. If you think of a question, quickly introduce yourself and just ask a friendly question or make a funny remark. If you can't think of anything just smile at the person next to you. Listen for as long as you like and prepare to move on when there is a natural break. If appropriate, volunteer to help with something like writing name tags, putting out food, etc which gives you an excuse to smile and meet people naturally. Later, if you see someone, say hi again and ask a question or make a little remark as simple, as “Are you enjoying those shrimp rolls!”

Feeling shy means that you are focusing on yourself. Remember--it's all about them, not you. All you have to do is get them talking about themselves, and they will always remember you as a wonderful, friendly person! You'll learn something and go home feeling that you really enjoyed one or two people.

Master Numbers in Numerology

Michelle asks,

Do you have any info about the meaning of the Master Number 55 as a Life Path number?

Thanks for your question, Michelle.  You've prompted me to put down a rather lengthy answer below, in order to consider the many levels of your question. 

Since you are asking about the Master number 55 in relation to your Life Path number, I will explain that the Life Path number is sometimes called the Soul Path or Birth Path number.  In any case, it's the number you get by adding up all the numbers in your birthdate. Some people reduce each number to one digit before adding (except 11 and 22 are addes as whole numbers).  For example, January 22, 1974 =

        1  + 22  + 1 + 9 + 7 + 4 = 44/8  or

        1  + 22  + 3 = 8 

(Either calculation gives the base number 8.  The 44 is inherent in the Life Path, but may or may not be developed. )

The Life Path or Birth Path is the essential part of you--your most important traits, interests, and life perspective.


Master numbers are the double-digits, such as 11, 22, up to 99. 

We Gain Mastery through Challenges and Obstacles

Master numbers tend to signify many challenges in the lifetime to help the soul gain mastery.  The focus of this mastery is found by looking at the specific area indicated both by the two double numbers (e.g., 5 5) and the total of the two numbers

5 + 5 = 10 = 1 + 0 = 1 (base number) 

Master numbers are often (erroneously) considered to be "higher" numbers, given only to special souls who are ready to use their spiritual qualities.  In fact, however, numbers do not ascend in spiritual value as they become larger.  A 9 is not more gifted than a 2.  Each number has it's own quality and place in the universal archetypes of human consciousness. A Master number 33 (6 base number) is not more spiritual, than, for example, 22 (4 base number). In fact, 33 is not more spiritual than 6.

The Master quality appears in the person who has an awakened awareness, and a comprehensive view or ability to access the potential of the base number.Those who seek to recognize and realize their life purpose, and who strive to see the higher purpose behind events are examples of heightened awareness.

Master Numbers Expect More of Themselves 

In my experience talking with people with Master numbers, especially the 22 and 33, it seems like they encounter more than their share of physical and emotional challenges, setbacks, or limitations.

It's not unusual to have at least one Master number in a name or birthdate.  Having two or more Master numbers may subject the person to more extremes in emotions and actions.  The person tends to be either quite sensitive spiritually and emotionally or unable to see the higher purpose of unfortunate events. 

The potential is there to express or create an outstanding influence in the world, but often personal pressures cause the person to retreat from the world or to shine brightly only occasionally. 

Master Numbers Encourage Us to Search and Understand

Parents of children with one or more Master numbers might do well to encourage the child to spend time alone to be able to focus on subjects of interest, read, write, meditate, or just stare at the wall.  The minds of these children may need, more than others, time to rest and reflect.

Master Numbers Encourage Attention to Service to Others

Each Master number has potential in its own way and its own field.  The holder of a Master number must gain mastery over his or her lesser nature, without giving into negative states of addiction, guilt, blame, resentment, victimhood, helplessness, or  hyper self-criticism.

Any Number Contains a Spectrum of Positive and Negative Potential

Few of us achieve the highest fulfillment promised by the numbers of our life purpose.  Some, like unsung heroes, quietly fulfill their destiny unseen.  Others, like the patient father, loyal wife, or good samaritan manage to blossom in a small sphere of influence. Still others are destined to use their potential for far-reaching good (or evil). 

The Master numbers--no more or less than regular numbers--must make constant soul choices.  Throughout our many lifetimes, we journey on the high roads and the low roads, as our Soul cycles through the many experiences necessary for complete experience, understanding, and enlightenment.


11 (2) -- The Inspirer--the mystic, dreamer, artist, who must discover the insights he or she is here to share with others. An 11 may find him or herself in the limelight, spotlight, or on the podium as a public speaker or minister. Ironically, 11 can be the celebrity, and 2 is more comfortable in the background as a loving, selfless, supporter of others. By developing your talents and interests, you gain the ability to share new ideas with others. Possible flaws: shyness, insecurity, anxiety, people-pleasing, procrastination, lack of patience or tact.

22 (4) --The Master Builder--the practical visionary.  22 is a master of social connection and spiritual values, desiring to be made manifest in the material world (4). The double 2 is an emphasis on the feminine, receptive and magnetic archetype.  Therefore 22(4) may be concerned with supporting women issues regarding health, human rights, and economic opportunity. Possible flaws: control issues, over-work, fanatical idealism, cynicism.

33 (6) -- The Master Teacher/Master Healer.  33 naturally gravitates to participating in just causes and missions.  A 33 is born into a lifelong awareness of the importance of tradition,family duties and responsibilities.The interests of 33 include a wide-range of philosophical approaches and healing techniques, and may have outstanding talent in acting, music, art, or singing. Thirty-three strives to provide exceptional and healthy experiences to others through the avenues of education, nutrition, yoga, acupuncture, massage, pyschotherapy, parenting, gerontology, advocacy, spirituality, or organized religion. Possible flaws: martyrdom, sacrifice of personal needs, over-work, fanaticism, giving unsolicited advice, family interference.

44 (8) --The Chief Executive.  The two 4's and total of 8 highlight an unusually shrewd, capable, logical, realistic, and driven nature.  At its best 44 (8) leads others to great heights of achievement and stands for the highest ethics, feats of manufacturing or engineering, financial wealth, and the law.  If in a position of unlimited power, the 44 could become power-hungry, self-serving and indifferent to the needs of lesser beings.  Possible flaws:  greed, hardness of heart, over-materialistic view of life, unrealistic expectations, cynicism, or a Machievellian nature.

55 (1) -- The Innovator.  The two 5's emphasize a highly curious, active, and forward-thinking nature. The passion of 55 is freedom and exploration. The lifelong lesson is to learn the right use of choice and will power.  Endowed with keen powers of observation and analysis, 55 has an outstanding ability to see potential before others do. The path that usually feels right to 55 involves uncharted territory, and a chance to bring something different, new, or original to market. Possible flaws: scattered efforts, addictions, dissipation of energy, fear of boredom, not using your talents, or getting trapped in unrewarding pursuits.  

66 (3) -- Personal Transformation. The two 6's bring forward a profound compassion, the desire for justice, and a deep faith in positive outcomes. Sixty-six's eloquence, loving nature, humor, and charm attract people from all walks of life.  Color, beauty, family, friendships, and joyful community are the heart and soul of this Master number. Negative experiences don't keep 66 down for long, as creative ways are usually found to work through hardship, usually by helping someone else or motivating others through a positive attitude. Possible flaws: over-optimism, gullibility, becoming too involved in outcomes, impractical idealism, over-promising.

Because the Life Path is calculated on the month, day, and year of birth, (especially when first reducing each of the three number to a single digit) it would be unlikely to find a higher number than 66.







Effects of Name Change

Vanessa Smith wrote:
As I was reviewing my charts - the Primary Life Chart and the Secondary Name Chart - I see there's no Pinnacles mentioned in the Secondary chart, does that mean that the ones in the Primary chart still apply?

That's correct.  All the timing in numerology is derived from the original name and birthdate.

And, is one of the main take aways between the two charts to compare what has changed, to see what's in conflict, or reinforced?


Will the primary name qualities always rule over the secondary or is it in the name change that the person becomes malleable & takes on new qualities?

Both, I think.  The Primary Destiny and character elements are always your foundation.  After about one year of using a new name, you may notice subtle differences in your interests, how you interact with others, or what others say about you.  I liken the name change to coloring your hair--the real color is always underneath the new color.

House Number Influences

Hi Carol!
I have a quick question about numerology. I read your book The Purpose of Your Life, back in 2007 and picked it up recently to re-read it and it's amazing how fresh everything is and pertinent to my life now.

I also just started getting into numerology last year and find it so fascinating and right on every time! I even found your first book The Numerology Kit through Amazon and have shared it with my 14-year-old niece who loves it too. My question is about house numbers. My address is 407..which is a master number of 11, but I'm hoping to start a business from my home and tried putting a 6 on the door to make it 17 or 8. What I've found is that our main focus has become improving the home through decorating and repairs instead of working on the biz. My husband and I are also in a "6" personal year and I'm in a "6" pinnacle which could also add to that.

Does changing the number on your door really make a difference, and if so, what number should we put up there to help get our butts in gear and make this business happen? Right now we have a 22 up there hoping the 'master builder' number will add to the "11" energy...our biz is going to be a non-profit to promote awareness of teen deaths due to distracted driving. Sorry for long email...I appreciate any advice you can give. :) Helena


Dear Helena,

Good questions, and you seem to have a good understanding of the numbers.  I agree that your 6 Personal Year and 6 Pinnacle are exerting an influence on you to pay attention to the beauty, comfort, and security of your home.  Six rules all our domestic areas from marriage, home, children, and responsibility and care for family and friends.  So I think those numbers are your most basic influences shaping your attention in these practical and nurturing ways.

 As to adding a number to your door in order to change the vibration of the house, I am not so sure that is effective.  I personally don't subscribe to the idea of trying to change the legal, postal address of an office or residence.  To me it just seems a convey lack of faith in what is, and desire to control outcomes--often a setup for disappointment!  

Your house naturally has the beautiful 407 (11) vibration, which already broadcasts your desire to bring inspiration, guidance, and hope to others.  The individual numbers of 4 bring a pratical, business-like sense.  The 4 says, "pay attention to what needs doing (repairs?)"  The 4 says, "make a business plan, be prudent, and be prepared to be in this for the long haul as you work through obstacles and lay good groundwork for building a network.

The 0 shows a spiritual gift of guidance and possible major breakthroughs in consciousness (yourself and those you reach out to).  The 7, as well, brings in a serious, deep, insightful vibration that emphasizes patience, intuition, and letting synchronicities open doors.

The total of 407 is 11--the master number called The Inspirer.  You already have it all!


Can I make a career in numerology?

Hello Carol,

I read "The Purpose of Your Life," and your personal story was a revelation. I too have been strangely attracted to numerology. But, I'm an African American man and telling my "tribe" about numerology has been very costly. It has cooled my relationships between me and my friends and family. I sure didn't see any of that coming. In retrospect, I've been very naive. To make matters more interesting, I ordered a chart from you and I've just realized that I'm in my fourth pinnacle with an 11/2 influence. I've tried to turn all of this into a positive and use it as the basis for work as a career coach. I've gotten a certificate from Sue Fredrick's "I See Your Dream Job" course. I'm now working as a volunteer to help coach young people, but I'm leery about asking for birth dates or saying anything about numerology. I'd like to make a living as a numerologist in some way but I'm beginning to feel discouraged. A part of me is saying "are you kidding me? numerology? you better go out and get a j.o.b.!" My question to you is are there any numerology associations out there? I could use a little advice and camaraderie. On a technical note, what kind of relationship does a pinnacle number have with a life path number? Thank you for your time and consideration. CP

Dear CP,

Thank you so much for taking the time to write, and for your kind words about TPOYL.  I can certainly understand that you might face some resistance when sharing your enthusiasm about numerology--especially if your friends and family have a strong belief in any of the organized Christian religions.  Now and again, I've been told by religious people that numerology is the work of the devil (and that includes my own eighty-four-year old aunt!  Therefore, I don't really bring up sensitive subjects like politics or my work with them anymore.  Numerology is a venerable tradition and has roots not only in Biblical passages, but in the Kabbalah.  It's been around for thousands of years for good reason. Can you develop a numerology practice?  Yes, you can.  Your Pinnacle of the 11/2 (the Inspirer) is an opportunity to study and share subjects of study such as psychology, metaphysics, numerology, and other disciplines--if you want to.   I wonder if you have any karmic numbers showing up in your chart? (13,14,16, or 19).  If you do, it might indicate that your sense of isolation or being "an outsider" may not be the first time you have been a person whose interests don't go along with your mainstream milieu.  Just a thought. If you are truly drawn to study numbers, then do it.  Try to avoid sharing your interest with those whom you are pretty sure won't be receptive.  Believe me, it's a losing battle!  However, there are tons of people who do want to know about themselves.  They will be open to your information and guidance if they can find you.   For years, I worked out of virtual closet space in small bookstores (which of course are hard to find now with the publishing industry being in transition and independent bookstores on the brink of extinction) to offer readings on Saturday.  Once you get your system of reading (and of course using your intuition along with the numbers) you can test the waters with 15 or 30 minute readings.  Be sure to charge a nominal fee so you are not working for free!  People won't be as likely to respect the info if they get it for free, so you are doing them a favor, too. Let me know if you would ever like to talk further about this.  We could schedule a consultation on the phone.  In the meantime, do you mind if I post your question and my answer on the website (with an anonymous name for you??) Warmest regards and many blessings on your path, Carol

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